


Things We Lost in the Fire

by Toomanyfandoms99



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Original Trilogy
Genre: Character Study, F/M, Force Bond, Introspection, Sibling bond
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-02
Updated: 2018-02-02
Packaged: 2019-03-12 19:34:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,678
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13554120
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Toomanyfandoms99/pseuds/Toomanyfandoms99
Summary: Uncle Owen’s speeder seemed to fall apart in slow motion.  Luke’s eyes went wide as the landspeeder came to a jolting stop, nearly sending him careening into the windshield.That’s when Ben Kenobi came out of nowhere.And that’s when Luke Skywalker started to float.  In midair.





	Things We Lost in the Fire

**Author's Note:**

> The title is taken from the Bastille song of the same name. Enjoy!

Luke was five years old when he dreamt of a girl on a balcony, surrounded by an ornate palace and lush greenery.

The girl looked to be about his age, but where he was sun-bleached and unassuming, she was dark-haired and assertive; he could tell just by her demeanor, the way she stared at the cloudless sky, like she was challenging it to test her.

In short, she was everything that Luke was not. His clear opposite, it seemed.

She wore her hair short, brown strands falling above her shoulders. Her dress was long and white, the silk moving with the breeze. She was thinking about...something. 

Luke wondered what it was.

Before he could move or speak, he was awakened by a nearby womp rat.

————

Luke was seven when he crossed paths with Old Ben Kenobi.

He had heard stories, of course. Stories of a lonely old man who dared to live in the Jundland Wastes. How he seemed to appear and disappear at will, and managed to stay alive using his dark magic.

To be truthful, though, Luke didn’t believe there was such a thing as dark magic. Something else, maybe, but not magic.

Luke wasn't supposed to leave the farm after the twin suns set every night. But he heard a strange noise near one of the moisture vaporators, and he was always too curious for his own good, so he stole Uncle Owen’s landspeeder and set out into the desert. 

This was the farthest moisture vaporator from home, after all. He didn’t want whatever was out there to get closer to his only safe place in the galaxy.

He didn’t know how to drive, technically, but he’s seen his uncle do it enough times to mimic him. 

He’s going to be in so much trouble.

Nonetheless, Luke hopped in the speeder and started it at a too-fast pace. He loosened his hold on the pedal, and got the speeder to remain at a safe speed limit.

As the landspeeder beelined for the moisture vaporator, Luke felt a sudden pull.

Not a physical pull, but a mental one.

Like someone had taken an invisible string and yanked him towards the vaporator.

The pull was impossible to break, so Luke let it guide him into the growing darkness. 

He eventually came to a stop a few feet away. The landspeeder engine growled, eventually becoming a resounding hum. Luke kept the engine running, despite his better instincts.

For some reason, some inexplicable reason, he knew that the something wouldn’t hurt him.

He hopped out of the landspeeder, feeling the machine whine and hover over loose sand, creating a dust whirlpool between the speeder and the ground. He walked slowly towards the moisture vaporator, finally spotting a shadow behind it.

A humanoid shadow.

Luke exhaled quietly. At least it wasn’t a Tusken Raider. 

Then he heard a voice.

“It’s alright, little one.” The scratchy voice make Luke flinch involuntarily. 

Then the shadow appeared before him.

It was an old man, wearing what looked to be a brown cloak over his entire body. Luke could barely make out the wrinkles and white beard on his face.

“I won’t hurt you,” the man said, in a tone that sounded like a promise.

Luke asked shakily, “who are you?”

The man faltered, swaying slightly to the side. He was switching his dominant leg, and he was clenching his teeth.

He was hurt.

“My name is Ben.”

Luke recognized his name from the stories. He asked hesitantly, “Old Ben Kenobi?”

Ben nodded. “I saw some Tuskens coming towards your farm.” A pause. His leg shifted again. “I took care of it.”

Luke didn’t know what to say to that. He turned around, realizing for the first time how far away this vaporator was from the farm. A spike of nervousness hit him.

Ben said softly, “there’s no need for alarm.”

Luke almost stuttered when he asked, “do you need help?”

Ben’s leg shifted again. “It’s just a scratch.” A pause. “I was just about to go back home.”

Luke wanted to help him, but he was at a loss as to how. So he said, “please be careful. It’s very dangerous at night.”

“My home is not far from here. I’ll be fine.” 

Luke didn’t believe him, but he hardly knew this man. He acquiesced and started to walk towards Uncle Owen’s humming landspeeder.

The old man said, “You are very brave.” A pause. “For coming out here.”

Luke pursed his lips and went to the landspeeder. He turned it around, not looking back.

He sure didn’t feel brave.

————

Luke was ten when he started to race.

In hindsight, he knew it was a terrible idea. He didn’t mean to almost give Uncle Owen an aneurysm when he found out.

But something about landspeeder racing made him feel more like himself.

He was not Luke Skywalker until his landspeeder was kicking up dust storms and his hair mingled with the wind. 

Because on a ball of dust, racing was the closest thing Luke equated to happiness. He felt alive when he beat his friends — especially Biggs — in a race.

He didn’t think about the responsibilities that were piling up as he got older and was able to do more work around the farm. A race allowed him to focus his mind and energy on a singular goal: winning.

As his skills increased over the days and months and years, he felt invincible. 

Like he meant something.

————

Luke was twelve when the girl from his dreams saw him.

For seven years, Luke had had similar dreams of the girl in various states of anger on a balcony. He watched her hair grow longer and longer; it now stopped at the middle of her back, the sun reflecting off of thick brown waves. Sometimes her hair was tied up or constricted with various apparatuses in styles that he could not name. Her dresses often changed, but he saw her mostly in white silk that moved like water in the breeze.

She was always looking at the sky, to the horizon of whatever planet she lived on. Her face was always marred with conflict, negative emotions betraying her when no one could see her.

Except him, that is.

Luke had gotten used to these dreams over the past seven years. They were sporadic at best, and were shoved in the back of his mind the second he woke up. He had tried moving and speaking during these dreams, but something was preventing him from making contact with her.

Until she made contact with him.

This particular dream was different, but only slightly. Luke felt a change in the air that he could not describe. He spent a few moments watching the girl. This time, she wore her hair in braids, tied up in a coil behind her head, not a single hair astray. She wore a sky blue dress, simple by her obviously wealthy standards. 

One minute, her face was contorted in anger, up at some unforeseen adversary in the clouds. The next minute, she had turned her head in his direction.

She was looking at him. Right through him.

Luke wanted to shiver. 

Her eyes squinted a fraction. She was just as confused as him.

For the first time, Luke heard her speak.

The girl asked, “who are you?”

Before he could say “I’m Luke, who are you?”, Aunt Beru was shaking him awake.

————

It was midday, the twin suns setting Luke’s body on fire, and he could not stop thinking about his dream.

As he watched his uncle inspect a new shipment of parts, the words “who are you who are you who are you” were reverberating through his mind.

Because who was he, really?

“Hi, I’m just some farmboy from Tatooine. It doesn’t matter what my name is. You’re clearly some sort of royalty and people like me don’t matter to you. What about you? What’s your name?”

He had to come up with something better than that, if this happens again. 

A part of him really doesn’t want to answer the girl’s question, doesn’t want to see her ever again.

Another part of him really, really does.

————

Luke had another run-in with Ben Kenobi before he had another dream.

He was racing against Biggs, as usual, his uncle’s landspeeder engine shrieking against the small dust storm that was forming. He heard Biggs shouting in delight, gaining on him fast. His friends were howling as the finish line steadily approached. 

Biggs was going to win, for the first time in a year.

Luke wouldn’t let it happen. He was too competitive. 

He slammed his foot on the pedal hard enough to put a hole through the speeder, but as he crossed the finish line, it all went wrong.

Luke felt the landspeeder engine grunting and grinding on gears it shouldn’t be rattling against.

Uh oh.

Uncle Owen’s speeder seemed to fall apart in slow motion. Luke’s eyes went wide as the landspeeder came to a jolting stop, nearly sending him careening into the windshield.

That’s when Ben Kenobi came out of nowhere. 

And that’s when Luke Skywalker started to float. In midair.

His eyes were closed, waiting for the inevitable crashing of landspeeder parts, and the pain that would follow. 

He heard the speeder fall apart, crashing into the sand, but he didn’t feel anything.

That’s when he opened his eyes, and saw that he hadn’t moved. He was floating.

What the kriff?

Luke finally had the guts to look around. Below him, the landspeeder was completely trashed. “Uncle Owen is going to kill me” flashed through his mind instantly. To his right, he saw Biggs in his halted speeder, looking at him like he wasn’t even human. He looked to the left, and saw his friends, open-mouthed with eyes popping out of their sockets.

And behind him was Ben Kenobi, his hand outstretched towards him.

Ben was making him float.

Luke must have looked hysterical, because Ben’s face softened as he said, “it’s okay. You’re okay.”

In any other circumstance, Luke probably would have fainted right then and there.

Instead, he asked, “can you put me down?” in a voice that sounded too weak for his liking.

Luke felt the air shift, nearly causing him to yelp in surprise.

Ben was putting him down.

Luke shut his eyes for a few seconds, until his feet touched the firm, burning sand. 

He opened them and looked at Ben hesitantly. “Thank you,” he said, his voice still soft.

Ben nodded and said, “you’re welcome.”

Then he walked away, faster than an old man should be able to, leaving Luke and his friends speechless.

————

Luke was thirteen when he finally dreamt about the girl again.

He had long since decided that she was not real. There was no way she could be, anyway.

She was just a figment of his imagination.

The girl was on the balcony as usual, her hair loose and free, her dress a flowing crimson red. 

She seemed to be waiting for him.

As if she knew where he was, her gaze immediately found his. Her eyes were brown and brimming with a fire that never seemed to extinguish.

She said with determination, “I’m going to ask you again. Who are you?”

Luke replied, “no one.”

The girl pursed her lips, as if smothering a shout. “No one?”

Luke said, “it doesn’t matter who I am. You’re just a dream.”

The girl’s face contorted for a moment, as if considering this. She looked back at him, and he could hear his words “just a dream a dream” screeching through her head. She was filled with a sudden confidence that startled Luke.

The girl said, “I’m not a dream. You are.”

You are you are you are you are…

“No,” Luke said firmly. “I’m real. I live on Tatooine.”

The girl was visibly surprised. “Tatooine?”

Luke nodded decisively, then a fear overcame him. 

She was real.

And if the girl was real…

What does it mean?

He looked up at the girl again, and her expression and thoughts mirrored his own.

Luke was about to ask “where are you from?” when he woke up for no apparent reason.

Hm.

————

Luke was eighteen when he realized that he hadn’t dreamt of the girl in five years.

But in his defense, his life was falling apart.

Biggs was gone, Uncle Owen wouldn’t let him train at the academy, and he’s been crippled by the fact that he was trapped and would never escape the dust ball he called home.

He might as well be a bounty hunter tied to a chair.

His hope of leaving his farm life behind had diminished almost completely. He would be a moisture farmer until his dying day.

The dark part of him said “or until your aunt and uncle die.”

He wasn’t even going to go there.

With Biggs gone, Luke had noticed that racing had lost its appeal. Who was he without Biggs to race, anyway? Winning used to mean something to him. Beating his friends in races made him feel accomplished. 

Luke realized, in the middle of a crowded market, that he felt muted somehow.

Or if not muted, then tired. Tired of having to wake up at dawn every morning. Tired of being a farmboy whose skin was permanently stained by not one, but two suns. Tired of being in a state of exhaustion by maintaining the moisture farm.

It took eighteen years, but Luke finally had a begrudging respect for what his aunt and uncle have done all their lives.

Overall, though, he was just so tired. And without dreaming of the girl in five years, he felt that the mystery her presence held in his life was gone forever.

He still had the occasional appearances of Ben Kenobi, but those confused him; with the girl, he felt a genuine curiosity that he couldn’t recall feeling before.

As an alien pushed past him in a claustrophobic alley, Luke felt more dejected than ever.

————

Luke was nineteen when his entire life changed for good. 

Well, not necessarily for good. His aunt and uncle did get burned to ash.

Not now, Luke.

How he found himself with Old Ben Kenobi, a space pirate, and a growling furry giant within an hour of becoming an orphan, he will never know.

He had learned, though. He had a name for the something that he felt in his dreams, and his encounters with Ben.

The Force.

And he had a name for what Ben and his father were.

Jedi.

It wasn’t like Luke spent an inordinate amount of time wondering about his parents. He was pretty sure it was a healthy amount of curiosity that he possessed. 

But it was nice to have some sort of answer as to why Ben always seemed to appear when Luke needed him.

He hadn’t yet told Ben about his dreams with the girl. He didn’t know why, but the fact that Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru just died and he was in a cantina with smugglers could have something to do with it.

When Luke had a free moment, when his mind wasn’t reeling and at a standstill simultaneously, he would tell Ben.

————

Luke never got to tell Ben.

————

It all happened so fast, really. One second he was watching Uncle Owen buy a fiery astromech and a spazzy protocol droid, the next he was a hero to the Rebel Alliance.

The night of the medal ceremony, when everyone else was celebrating for some reason, Luke was curled into a ball in his temporary quarters. 

He hadn’t had the time until now to truly process what’s happened to him in such a short amount of time.

Uncle Owen was dead. Aunt Beru was dead. Ben Kenobi was dead. Squadrons of pilots were dead. Biggs was dead.

All for him.

The guilt truly was suffocating.

And everything that he knew, everything that he could count on in his life, disappeared once his home was nothing but smoke and fire and death.

He would think it was all a nightmare, but lying on a hard mattress and clutching his legs to his chest while crying like a child sure felt real.

Luke let the events that happened so quickly run through his head. He recalled what Ben told him, that he wasn’t just some farmboy doomed to a dull life on Tatooine. That he was special. 

In all honesty, Luke was almost asking for all of this to happen. He had spent too much time whining about his life as a farmer. 

It all seemed so pathetic and stupid now, to be complaining about a perfectly decent life.

Now he was an absolute mystery to even himself. He didn’t know what would happen next, now that everyone he once knew was dead and he was thrust into his role of being a hero.

He didn’t feel brave the night he met Ben Kenobi when he was seven, and he didn’t feel brave when he destroyed the Death Star and killed thousands at age nineteen.

He was only nineteen. A fresh set of tears formed. 

He felt so old.

He heard a flurry of activity outside of his door. His mind yelled, “don’t come in don’t bother me please don’t come in.”

The laughing and footsteps passed, doors sealing shut nearby. Luke let out a sigh of relief.

The voices almost reminded him of his new friends...or comrades, whichever came first.

His thoughts went to the smuggler. Han Solo. 

Luke didn’t know how to feel about him. When he said that he could use Ben’s credits to buy his own ship and fly it himself, Han’s cocksure “who’s gonna fly it? You?” grated on his nerves.

Luke would have to show Han his flying skills someday. That’ll teach him to not be so overconfident. 

Han had tons of flaws that were immediately apparent upon first meeting him.

But.

He came back to save Luke.

That was something to ponder at another time, Luke decided.

And he couldn’t think about Han without next thinking about Chewbacca. For a Wookie, he sure communicated a lot with growls. Luke was learning how to understand him quicker than he thought he would. He still had a long way to go, but with Han and Chewbacca promising to stick around, Luke would have plenty of time to learn. 

That brought him to Leia Organa. The princess. The woman in white.

When Luke first laid eyes on her in that cell, he thought he was having another dream, the first one in six years.

He dismissed it outright. There was no way it was the same girl. No way.

Plus, the girl in his dreams never wore her hair in buns. It wasn’t her. 

Nope.

—————

Luke couldn’t sleep that night. Instead, as the partygoers were all returning to their quarters, he wandered around the base.

That’s how he found Princess Leia Organa at two in the morning, curled up in an empty room and crying silently.

Just like he was an hour ago.

Luke went into the room and sealed the door shut, making Leia nearly leap out of her skin.

“It’s okay,” Luke said, in what he hoped was a soothing voice. “I won’t tell anyone that I caught their fearless leader crying.”

Leia wiped her eyes efficiently and pulled a face. “What ever do you mean, Luke?” She teased, her voice still thick from crying. “I caught you crying here all alone.”

Luke snorted and took a seat next to her, but not too close. “I just pulled myself together after an intense crying session, I’ll have you know,” he said dramatically. Leia smiled, because Luke knew that sometimes, smiling was easier than crying. 

After a moment, Leia gathered herself and said, “I know we just met and everything, but...I feel like I’ve-”

“Known you for a long time,” Luke finished, and yeah, that felt true. “I feel that way too,” he added.

Leia was suddenly soberingly silent. “I just realized...we both lost a lot, haven’t we?”

She was right. “Yes, we have.”

Leia wiped away a tear rushing down her pale cheek. “You’re a good man, Luke Skywalker,” she said seriously. She patted her hand on his reassuringly, then pulled it away before he could process it. Leia’s eyes met his, a fire rising within their depths. “Don’t ever forget that, okay?”

Luke nodded. “The same goes for you, Leia. Okay?”

Leia grinned, all noticeable signs of distress gone completely, as if she never had a breakdown with him as a witness. “Okay.”

————

Luke was twenty standard years old when he regained his love for flying. It wasn’t racing, but it was something.

He found that he enjoyed taking his X-Wing on supply runs, especially when Wedge Antilles, the Rebellion’s most experienced pilot, would join him. Luke had spent his life wanting to do something useful, and now he finally was.

When he wasn’t flying, he was learning all he could about Jedi and the Force. He spent hours trying to lift objects and center himself, but he could only just nudge his X-Wing tools a millimeter closer.

He’ll get better. He knew — with a startling certainty — that he would.

————

When Luke got to pilot the Millennium Falcon, he was ready to wipe a cocky grin off of Han’s face.

Han may have gotten them into a...situation, but Luke would get them out of it.

The scanners showed that three TIE fighters were gaining on them. And if he could beat his friends in landspeeder races, he could outrun three Imperial fighters.

Han was currently bickering with Chewie and Leia about not being able to jump to lightspeed. 

So nothing new there.

Luke put on his best authoritative voice. “Chewie, go and fix the hyperdrive.” Chewie growled an affirmative, Han and Leia growing quiet and staring at Luke like he’d manifested a second head. Once Chewie left the cockpit, Luke sat down in Han’s usual chair.

“What are ya doin’, kid?” Han asked, half inquisitive, half angry.

“Be quiet for a minute, you two,” Luke ordered, powering up the blasters on each side of the ship and seizing control of the wheel. He turned on the intercom and said, “Chewie, get the tools you need and get started. Artoo, I need you to keep an eye on the blasters. Make sure they’re charged. Threepio, strap yourself in somewhere and try not to freak out.” He lifted his finger off the com and looked at a shocked Han and Leia. “Strap in guys,” Luke said, Han and Leia actually following his orders for once. Luke took a deep breath.

Let’s do this.

As the TIEs approached and opened fire, Luke turned on the deflector shield. It was half depleted, but it would have to do. The blasts ricocheted off the Falcon, just like it was supposed to. 

Are you watching, Han? 

Luke waited for the TIEs to close in on them, slamming the brakes and watching the fighters surpass them. He knew it was hard for Imperial fighters to maneuver, since they were made with cheap and reused parts. It would take them some time to turn around and redirect their course.

Luke turned the com back on. “Chewie? Almost done?” The resounding growl that followed seemed to be an affirmative. “Good. Artoo?” He listened to the astromech’s string of beeps, which his mind translated roughly to “the blasters are charged and ready.” He said, “okay, good.” 

He watched the scanners closely. The TIEs were doing exactly what he wanted. 

This was going to be easy.

The fighters arched, one-by-one, into the center of his blaster scanner. 

A smirk reached Luke’s face. He pulled the trigger. 

One, two, three explosions.

Perfect.

Luke maneuvered the ship above the wreckage, dodging a piece of a TIE fighter wing.

He turned on the com one last time, fighting a grin at what he was about to say. “Punch it, Chewie.” 

Chewbacca growled in assent, the stars expanding and shrinking as the Millennium Falcon entered hyperspace.

Once they were safely cocooned at lightspeed, Luke chanced a glance at Han and Leia.

They were speechless. 

Luke played coy. “What? Never seen a man pilot a ship before?”

Leia’s face quickly turned into a grin that told him “nice one, farmboy” while Han remained shocked still. 

“Well,” Luke said, shooting out of Han’s chair, “I’m going to check on the others.” 

Luke leaving a stuttering Han and amused Leia in the cockpit was now his greatest achievement.

————

Luke was twenty-one when Ben Kenobi came to him as a ghost.

He could only thank the stars that no one was in his quarters at the time. He might have had a small heart attack when he saw Ben casually waiting for him to come out of his makeshift kitchen.

“Luke,” Ben said.

Luke took a moment to calm his racing heart. “Yes?”

“I’ve come to warn you.”

Luke swallowed and put down the cup of caf he was holding on a side table. He tried resting a hand on his hips, but ended up crossing his arms.

Was a ghost seriously talking to him right now?

“What about?” Luke asked.

Ben smirked. “You’re reacting well to...this.”

“Why are you-” Luke motioned to Ben’s form, “like that?”

“I’m using the Force to project myself to you. To warn you.”

Luke leaned against the wall. So this was his life now. “Uh huh…” He paused. “Can I do that?”

“When you die, yes.”

“Huh...cool.”

Ben’s smile smoothed into a thin line. “Now, then. The warning. You have to evacuate this base.”

Luke frowned. “Is it because of the bad feeling that I’ve had since we got here?”

Ben was silent for a long moment. Luke stared at his feet like a kicked puppy.

Ben finally asked, “You’ve felt it?”

Luke nodded. “Everything here feels...wrong.”

“This is good, Luke. It’s good that you feel it.”

Luke stared at Ben. “How is this good? The Alliance just got here. And I really don’t want to go to Hoth after this, Ben.”

Ben chuckled, but sobered up so quickly that Luke almost got whiplash. “I hate to say it, but this planet thrives on the dark side. You have to leave.”

Luke said, “so that's why I feel like I’m suffocating.”

Ben nodded. “You’re strong in the Force, Luke.” He frowned, sympathy reaching his eyes. “It must be painful for you, more than most.” Ben suddenly looked like he was far away, coming to a realization far too late.

Luke glanced at his caf, now growing cold. He cleared his throat and said sadly, “it does hurt, sometimes.” He shrugged. “I’ve been...trying.”

Ben nodded again, like he understood. Luke found himself enjoying ghost Ben’s company. He couldn’t talk about Jedi things with anyone else, after all. 

“So,” Luke started again, “do you think that Mon Mothma will believe me when I say ‘the ghost of Ben Kenobi told me to evacuate this base right now’ because if she doesn’t then I’ve got nothing.”

Luke didn’t know until now that dead people could laugh. He felt like he just achieved something monumental.

After a moment, Ben said, “if no one believes you, you’ll have to come up with something else.”

Luke sighed. “Well, wish me luck.”

“There’s no such-”

“Thing as luck,” Luke finished. “I know.”

Ben disappeared before him with a twinkle in his eye.

Well. That was the weirdest conversation ever.

————

Mon listened to him. It turned out, she knows a lot more than Luke thought.

Which is why he was now speaking with her in an empty planning room, as the base was undergoing a slow and meticulous evacuation. In a few days, the darkness pressing onto Luke’s mind would be gone. He was relieved.

And now, Mon was going to give him some answers.

He looked at Mon, with her close cropped auburn hair and white uniform, and waited for her to speak first.

“Luke Skywalker,” she said, as if turning the name over like a coin, searching for secrets in his eyes. “I must say, I never thought I would hear the name Skywalker ever again.”

Luke couldn’t contain his surprise. Mon took a sip of Corellian brandy. 

Luke wasted no time. “Did you know my father?”

This seemed to throw her for a loop. “Your...father?”

“Yes. I was told his name was Anakin Skywalker.”

Mon’s features grew cold, going blank in a flash. “Anakin Skywalker,” she said, testing out the name, as if she hadn’t spoken it in years and years. 

And she probably hadn’t.

Luke could practically hear the gears turning in Mon’s head. She finally said, “Anakin Skywalker was a Jedi during the Clone Wars.”

“Yes,” he said, “I already knew that.”

“Who told you that?” Mon asked.

“Ben Kenobi.”

Mon’s face grew pale. “You mean Obi-Wan Kenobi?”

“Yes,” Luke replied. “Why?”

Mon ignored his question. “Is he the one who told you to evacuate?”

“Yes,” Luke answered. 

“And you? Do you...feel what Kenobi feels?”

“The darkness that’s been here since we arrived? Yes.”

Mon chugged the rest of her glass of brandy. “You really are the son of Anakin Skywalker.”

Luke raised an eyebrow. “We’re getting off topic. Is there anything you could tell me about him?”

Mon was quiet for a moment, considering. “I didn’t really know your father, but I’ve heard stories when I was in the Senate.”

“I’ll take what I can get,” Luke said, pouring himself a glass of Mon’s brandy. He might need it.

“Back in the Clone Wars, they called him,” she paused, “The Hero With No Fear.”

The Hero With No Fear.

“That’s what they called him in the holos,” Mon clarified. “They called Obi-Wan The Great Negotiator. Those two were supposedly an unstoppable team.”

Luke drained his glass. The brandy had a nice kick to it. “Was he a pilot?”

“He was the best pilot that the Republic had,” Mon replied. She poured another glass of brandy. “That must be where you get your skills.”

Luke hesitated with his next question. “Do you happen to know...who my mother was?”

Mon stared into the liquid in her glass. “I’m not sure.”

“But you have guesses?” Luke asked.

Mon took a sip of brandy. “I don’t wish to get your hopes up.”

Luke sighed. “Understood.” He poured a second glass of alcohol and drained it quickly. “This is good stuff.”

Luke marked today as the day he made the ruthless leader Mon Mothma smirk. 

————

Luke was twenty-two when he discovered that Darth Vader was his father.

Just when he thought he was returning to a sense of normalcy, just when he started to feel like he fit in as a pilot for the Rebellion, just when he discovered more about the Force with Yoda, this was thrust upon him with the words “no, I am your father.”

Not only was Darth Vader formally known as Anakin Skywalker, but Luke was the only person who could destroy the monster that his father had become.

And as he was passing out from the loss of his hand — for kriff’s sake — Luke realized that he’s never had to complete such a daunting and galaxy-altering task.

————

Han had been frozen in a block of ice for two days when Luke found Leia crying in an empty room.

Again.

It’s not like Leia was weak, not at all. She was the strongest person that Luke knew.

But something happened when Luke was with Yoda on Dagobah. He just didn’t know what.

Which is why Luke sealed the door shut, Leia gasped in shock at his presence, and he sat next to her, but not too close. 

He wanted to know what happened.

This time, Luke came prepared with a box of tissues. He handed one to Leia as she wiped away the remnants of her tears.

“We have to stop meeting like this, Luke,” Leia said. 

Luke turned his grin on her. “We have the best conversations this way.”

Leia snorted, grabbing another tissue. “I guess so.”

Luke gave her a moment to wipe her nose before he said, “you can tell me what happened, if you want. I won’t tell anyone, and I won’t judge you.”

Leia gave him a wobbly smile. “You’re amazing, you know.” 

Luke was about to make a smart comment, but Leia smacked his arm before he could. An unburdened laugh escaped Luke, making Leia laugh too.

After a moment, Leia finally said, “I’m in love with Han.”

So that’s the problem.

They finally got together, and now Han was frozen on Tatooine. He didn’t envy Leia one bit.

“I’m sorry,” Luke said softly.

Then, Leia’s whole side of the story tumbled out of her lips. Luke listened closely, because he knew that she needed to tell someone. When she was finished, her back slumped against the wall. Her story seemed to have drained whatever energy she had left.

Luke took a deep breath and squeezed her shoulder. “We’ll get Han back. No matter what.” He suddenly found himself with an armful of Leia. He held her tightly and said, “it may take a while, but we’ll get him.” He felt Leia nod in the crook of his neck. 

Yeah. They would get him back.

————

Luke was twenty-three when he realized that Leia just might be the girl from his dreams as a child.

He wanted to kick himself for dismissing it so outright years ago.

It took for another base move, to a planet with rich growth and detailed buildings that may have once been something to behold, for him to see Leia on a balcony.

He was at the entryway, the balcony looking precariously built, vines snaking throughout the space. Leia was wearing an ivy cloak that went to the knees of her fitted gray pants. Her hair was braided and tucked into a coil on the back of her head.

“Who are you who are you who are you” rang through his mind like a bell.

Questions rose from the depths of Luke’s brain, but Leia noticing him stopped them all in their tracks.

Leia had that fire in her eyes again. Someone must have pissed her off.

“Was it Mon?” Luke asked.

Leia faltered. “How did you know that?”

Luke smiled. “Lucky guess.”

There’s no such thing as luck.

“What did she do?” Luke asked curiously.

Leia huffed, her anger dissipating, most likely due to Luke’s presence.

Luke walked closer to Leia, until he was looking over the balcony. It looked like quite a drop, if someone were to fall. Luke turned his attention back to Leia.

“I’d rather not talk about it,” Leia said. “It has to do with Han, but I’d rather just...not, right now.” Luke nodded, taking a moment to look at the vines. They really were quite thick. The thorns must be as sharp as knives too.

Always looking, to the horizon.

Leia pulled Luke back to reality. “So, I never ask how you’re doing. How are you?”

How was he doing? I mean, his father was a Dark Lord and has executed thousands with his red blade. 

So...not well then. 

He couldn’t tell Leia that, though. Just like he couldn’t tell her that he dreamt about her as a child.

A creeper alert if he’s ever heard one.

Luke plastered on his best fake smile. He’s taken some cues from Leia over the years. “I’m fine,” Luke said. 

Leia must have believed him, because she said, “I’m glad at least someone is doing alright, under the circumstances.” She winced, because Han was in the custody of a notorious gangster.

Luke squeezed her shoulder, just as he had a few months ago. 

This time, he didn’t say a word before leaving Leia to her thoughts on the balcony.

————

Luke was twenty-four when he got well and truly drunk for the first time.

Alone. In his room. After draining a whole bottle of rum.

He learned quickly that he was a contemplative drunk, and a complete nightmare. 

It had taken the contents of an alcohol bottle for him to truly take in the whole “Darth Vader is my father” thing.

And his father was once Anakin Skywalker, the Hero With No Fear during the Clone Wars.

How the kriff did this all happen?

There’s definitely an incredible story there. He’d just have to be patient, and wait for the answers to come to him. Or, if they don’t come, seek them out for himself.

Before he could do that, though, he knew what had to happen.

His father and the Emperor would have to die. 

By his hand. By his lightsaber, he should say.

He can’t do this. He can’t. He wasn’t strong enough. He wasn’t Leia.

But he had to. There was no one else for the job.

When the time came, he had to be firm in his resolve. Darth Vader and the Emperor could not live, if the galaxy were to be a safe and prosperous place again. Luke wanted to fulfill Leia’s dreams of a restored Republic, like in the days before the Clone Wars. 

And in order to be strong enough, Luke knew where he had to go.

————

Luke could tell upon looking at Master Yoda that he was surprised when Luke reappeared on Dagobah.

————

Luke trained on Dagobah for six months before he was given a mission.

He had to return where it all started. 

Luke didn’t know how to feel about that, but it didn’t matter what he felt.

He nodded his assent to Yoda, accepting the mission. He didn’t know when he would see Yoda again, if he ever did. As Luke grew stronger, he felt Yoda weaken.

Yoda was dying, slowly and painfully. 

Luke figured Yoda would have let go already, had he not been there, had he not asked for his help. Yoda sensed Luke’s regret, and waved it off, his walking stick making a swift motion in the foggy atmosphere.

So Luke and Artoo powered up his X-Wing, and set off for the place he never thought he would visit again.

————

Old Ben Kenobi’s hut was exactly as he had left it years ago.

The Tuskens must have really been scared of him.

Luke opened the large chest where his father’s lightsaber once was, Artoo beeping excitedly. Luke found various parts and a leather-bound journal inside.

Luke sat on Ben’s floor, skimming through the journal.

He had recorded everything.

He would have plenty of time to peruse it later. 

Right now, he needed—

There it is.

Drawings and detailed instructions on how to build a lightsaber.

Luke pulled out the dilapidated parts and tools from Ben’s chest. He wondered how Ben got everything he needed, but he must have had his ways.

Ben even had an unused kyber crystal for him, in protective casing. 

It was green. His favorite color.

“Thanks, Ben,” Luke said, knowing that somewhere, Ben heard him.

————

Luke was twenty-five when the Empire was destroyed, when Master Yoda died, when he discovered that Leia was his twin sister, and when he helped free Han from his debt at long last.

Not necessarily in that order. It happened in reverse order, actually. 

Oh, and his father, in a final act of love, sacrificed himself to kill the Emperor, and had his final breaths in Luke’s arms.

Yeah, that happened. And he would probably spend the rest of his life assessing and reassessing the events that got him here, burning his father’s body in the middle of the jungle on Endor.

What happened to you, Anakin, for us to both get here?

Luke would have to find out. He would start by poring over Ben’s journal. 

And he would have to be there for Leia, his sister, the girl from his dreams, the princess of a planet that no longer exists. 

As Luke Skywalker watched his father burn to ash, he knew that this was the beginning of a new age for the galaxy.

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and comments are appreciated!


End file.
